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The Obligatory Start line Photo |
Well that didn’t go to plan. I will leave
out the gory details but basically I had a very dodgy gut during the run which
is easy-ish to manage in the relatively rural environs of Balerno and Colinton
but much less so in Stockbridge high street on a Saturday morning near
Christmas, so quite early on in proceedings I was reduced to slow
jogging/walking to avoid juggling my guts around too much. Probably something
to do with having my work xmas lunch yesterday, I just can’t quite manage a three-course
lunch these days plus booze and the food was still weighing heavily on my
stomach which is not a particularly welcome sensation when lining up for a half
marathon.
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Me looking a whole lot cheerier than i felt... |
Meanwhile Simon was being a Bandit (yes,
that’s Bandit with a capital B) in this handicap race and, much to my annoyance,
he started miles ahead of me but at least he had the good grace to look mildly
concerned when I didn’t appear over the finish line for ages…and ages, waddling
in at the back of the field. In fact, from my perspective most people seemed to
have started in front of me. I think I need to be slightly less optimistic
about my handicap time and a bit more realistic about my abilities (or lack thereof) next year.
Still, as the Water of Leith Race goes it was actually quite a mild day with no
ice on the ground and just a chilly southerly wind but for the most part the
race route is sheltered, and the cold wind wasn’t noticeable. At least I wasn’t
going to die of hypothermia from moving too slowly.
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Heb 3 legend Jim Bruce on the startline |
I quickly became aware of the hoards
passing me mid-run and that I didn’t actually seem to be catching anyone up but
no matter thought I, despite the worrying array of noises and back flips that
my guts were doing it was a pleasant enough way to spend a Saturday and it
beats hands down the other “sport” of Christmas shopping which seems to be a very
popular way to spend a Saturday at this time of year. Yes folks, even a really
shit run beats Christmas shopping as a way to spend a day.
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With a handicap like that i'd be smiling too... |
As usual the path wasn’t too busy early on
but it got a lot busier after the road crossing just past Murrayfield and so
dodging people, bikes, kids, dogs etc was the name of the game and in parts the
path was really quite wet and muddy underfoot but there was none of the ice of
previous years that had made sections of this run quite treacherous particularly
the timber walkways and steps. The most dangerous thing on this route is people
with dogs on those extendable leads, they are just lethal. I wonder if they
ever appear in any race risk assessment? Not that there is one carried out for
this under-the radar-not-a-race-race. I think the only instructions were “try
not to get run over and try not to fall in the river” but too be honest I’m not
sure either of these options could have made my race much worse than it already
was.
As I plodded along, I really regretted not
taking my camera with me and getting a few good pictures, its not as though I
was racing fast and didn’t have the time to spare and it might have proved a
welcome distraction from the worry of my stomach issues. A few walkers offered
a cheery smile and words of encouragement, so I did my best to return the
smiles although I fear they probably actually came across as snarls.
All in all though, I had to conclude it
really wasn’t going that well. I had stepped off a kerb awkwardly at one point and
got a stabbing pain in my knee which meant that more walking was required until
the pain eased off. I followed the flour arrows marking the course and then
when I got passed by a group of three runners. I started to follow them. One of
them offered me a jelly baby, I must have looked as though I was in dire need,
but the thought of what effect that would have on my guts at that very moment
was almost too much to contemplate.
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Photos taken the following day... |
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I didnt have time to take photos of the art work mid-run |
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Sunshine on Leith |
I should have stuck to following the arrows
rather than the other runners though as the route then had to follow a council
diversion through an estate of newish looking flats and soon enough there were
no arrows to follow, more walking ensued while looking around for course
markings. We all back tracked and fortunately hadn’t gone off route too badly.
Ok so bad things always come in threes – that’s my three – dodgy guts, a sore
knee and I got lost. Surely nothing else could go wrong? I recognised the last
section of the route which for some reason always feels like the longest mile
and a half ever and resumed my somewhat pathetic walk/jog by now accompanied
with a limp.
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Follow the arrows |
You can see the finish line on the other
side of the river from quite a distance and I had hoped I wouldn’t have to
suffer the ignominy of walking in over the finish line but walk over the line I
did and was met with the welcome sight of Eric and Lynda’s table groaning with
soup, scones, cakes and other goodies but sadly by now I was so fragile all I
could manage was a cup of tea.
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Re-stocking the calories |
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Best lunch ever! |
The finish line was in a slightly more
exposed location and suddenly the wind seemed a lot colder so I swiftly
retreated to the pub. Its amazing the effect a huge bacon roll and a pint can
have on ones feeling of well being. And fortunately I did manage to hold them
down although I did stop after one pint. Quit while you’re ahead. Plus the
company and the chat was very good.
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Photo stolen from Mary Hunter.. |
Simon (the Bandit. With a capital “B”) won
the race and now will be handicapped out of sight for evermore in this event. Especially
as it’s the second year that he has won it. Due to everyone having to wait on me
finishing there’s the possible chance of a good handicap next year….. Every
cloud and all that. Amazingly I wasn’t even last, there was some poor soul out
even longer than I was (if that was possible) but in his defence he did get rather
impressively lost.